Truth

“All you have to do is write one true sentence.
Write the truest sentence that you know.”

—Ernest Hemingway 

The day you decide the chickens are headed for the chopping block due to a lack of egg production-they will inevitably start laying eggs, mountains of eggs. 

Resolved:

I am resolute. I am resilient.I am a goal setting/reaching machine. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

In the year twenty-twelve I resolve to accomplish these goals:
   
     *be grateful, daily
     *be kind, daily
     *write something, daily   (every little bit counts)
     *take kids on a "mommy date", once monthly
     *PRAY, daily
     *make a dress for my shapely self
     *read 4 classic novels
     *exercise brain & body, daily (every little bit counts)
     *write 1 letter per month
     *MAIL said letter
     *finish one of the myriad unfinished quilts in craft stash
     *call moms, weekly
     *take a picture every day (practice makes perfect or is that perfect practice makes perfect...what ever!)
     *FORGIVE, every 5 seconds or as otherwise needed
     *continue with resolutions from prior year
          *rise early
          *make bed
          *stay away from the Coffee Mate and all of its many wonderful flavours (it is evil)
          *drink more H2O


       


   

Beginning and Ending

The year twenty-eleven was fraught with death, dismemberment, chaos, and overeating.  The year was chock-a-block with comings and goings, which brought heartaches and joy and more overeating. The price of gas rose as did my grocery bill. Our farm lost some trees and more animals. I found a few gray hairs.We waved goodbye as dear friends left us behind. We cried selfish tears for loved ones who went Home to Jesus ahead of us. Life was one hard (and expensive) day after the next.

Happily, we said good-bye to 2011.

Thoughts of years gone by flooded my brain...times when all were happy to see the end of the year and times when it felt as if things were just beginning.  There are markers in time, snippets posted firmly in my memory bank, of simpler times. Times when life seemed to trip lightly along. Time where we saw no death of loved ones; animal or human. Time when fueling the Suburban did not induce cardiac arrhythmia. Time before Wii. Time before Teens and Terrible Two's . There was a time when I sat with my wee-bitty babies and thought life was most glorious and all in the world was good. Time before so many worries occupied my brain night and day. Time when I couldn't wait for the New Year to open the next chapter in my life. Time when I could not wait to add another year to my belt as it stood for wisdom gained: Another year wiser.

The start of twenty-twelve finds me hopeful. And weary. Also, ready for an exercise regime. I am happy to have a full year of resolution (woke-4:30 in summer 5:30 in winter-with my husband every work day, save for a few sick days) under my belt. I am contemplating this next year of resolution and thinking it will involve my blog....my poor, sad, neglected blog. I am still pondering my one little word for 2012. There is much to mull over. There are pictures to be taken. Memories to be stored. There is life to be lived, pounds to be shed and tears to be swept away.  There are doors ready to be closed and new beginnings waiting to be discovered.

Good-bye crappy year. Hello bright shiny New Year.

Embrace life

Life is a gift. If we choose to see it so, everything we have is a gift. Take in your surroundings; what you see might surprise you.

(Image courtesy of Pinterest) 

Inspiration gone awry

 Lest ye forget...

Note to Self

                                                           
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 
– Mark Twain





I found this quote today and I'm inspired. It's a fresh new week. For my kids and I, its Spring Break and I plan to soak it up like a piece of bread in a bowl of soup. I am going to explore with my kids this week.  I am challenged to sail from my safe harbor of guilt and disappointments.  I am going to discover new and exciting things. I am going to throw off the bowlines and have some fun! I am going to make a mess and try not stress out about it. I am also going to listen to this song. Every day. I am going to dream big. And not fear failure.


Share your inspiration.


(Image courtesy tumblr)

The green eyed monster is female.

Earlier this week my children and I made a pit stop in town at the local magazine swapping spot.  I had great hopes of finding some colorful magazines ripe for the cutting.  There were collages to make.

We searched the stacks of discarded magazines.  We rifled through pile after glossy pile, searching for just the right pictures.

Then I spied it!  There between the Dog and Cat Fancy and Sports something-er-other was the cutest Woman's Day I have ever seen.  The cover was swimming in cupcakes so cute they could melt butter. With eyes as big as saucers, my youngest boy pulled the book from its resting place. I promptly snatched the glossy pages from his chubby fingers.  He protested only briefly.  I told him it was for girls only.  Chock full of cooties, that one.  He looked up at me with his best puppy dog impersonation and said  "green eyed monster".

Now, normally I would have scolded the young mister for such sass but something in knew that it was a true statement. So, I let it slide.

Fast forward  a few days.

Taking a much needed break from the school brain melt, I pulled out the coveted, cupcake smothered  magazine from its hiding place.  I poured myself a fresh cup of coffee and set down in my favourite comfy chair.

And there it was.  In large bold letters.



The green eyed monster is female!


Well now.

According to the magazine women are more prone to jealousy.

Or...

Some women are prone to rip magazines from the clutches of babes.

Weighty issue

I have been trying to focus on the positive lately. This is quite hard to accomplish. You see the pessimist in me just takes over sometimes and I can't snap out of the grumps. Optimism is not my strong suit.

A couple of weeks ago, for some strange reason, I seemed to be getting a lot of compliments from my hubby and friends. "You are lookin' good" they would say. I would grumble back a thankless thank you, as I was sure they were lying to me. Pessimist takes over.

I decided to try my hand at a self portrait. This was the best of the lot. It's not good by any means but it helped me to see that I am starting to look better if not "good".


Blasted pessimistic nature!


All told, in the last year I have lost 45 pounds. That is nothing to shake a stick at. And by golly it has been a long year chalk full of one stressful event after another. So, maybe I can step back and let loose the optimist in me and pat myself on the shoulder and say...."I'm lookin' good"....

better at least.

Optimism is not my strong suit.

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a mommy……



I was 18 years young, in love and MARRIED. So, before I was a mommy I was just a kid myself.


I was really interested in being a singer/actor but never let it drive me to say, CA or NY to start a career. I was unofficially trained as an opera singer by my H.S. Choir teacher but, now am afraid to sing in public. Friends tell me all the time what a lovely voice I have. I think, the better to scream harmoniously at my children: "LEAVE YOUR SISTER. AlooooooooonE!" You know I hit the high notes with that one.





I was: a waitress, funny, skinny, a florist, a vagabond, artsy/crafty, unafraid of life. I was a free spirit. I was weird and geeky, SKINNY, loved to laugh and I liked everyone and everyone liked me, at least I thought they did, ( I guess that means that I was sorta arrogant, eh?)





I did not know how to drive. I didn't know how to manage a checkbook (Note to self: get a homeschool version of Personal Finance... And teach the kids how to drive). Worked too many jobs; jobs which I had to beg other kids to take me to because I couldn't drive. Oh, yeah I was THAT girl!




I watched Day of our Lives, religiously.




Did you catch that I was skinny?




I wore the most hideous purple Mickey Mouse T-Shirt. ALL. THE. TIME. Which I probably still have in a box of crap somewhere.




I painted and drew beautiful art work.



Before I was a mommy I was sure that being one was, NO. BIG. DEAL. Women had been rearing children for centuries. NO BIG DEAL. Wehehehehellllll! Boy was I wrong. Being a mommy has been the Biggest Deal of my Life.

Thoughts for a Thursday

This picture of the lilacs falling out over our road is not one of my better pictures, but I really like it. It serves as a reminder that even when I am walking in the shadows, there are sunny spots along the way, with many beautiful sights to take in, while that brilliant sunny spot waits just ahead for me. It is my "Light at the end of the tunnel" and "stop and smell the roses" all rolled into one.

I am sure that everyone gets bogged down with 'stuff' every once-in-a-while, and when we are right smack dab in the middle of our 'stuff', it can be hard to see the light out ahead. There will be things that smack you in the face and irritate you and bring much frustration, much like this lilac has done to me. Then sometimes there will be things that fall into your path and bloom. Some days I get such a heavy feeling from this weight I carry called, Fibromyalgia. There are days that just moving around is painful. Simple tasks are beyond me. This is a big part of my 'stuff'. Some days I fight with God, asking him the ever brilliant and so childish, "WHY"? Who am I to complain, really? This lot sucks but I don't have cancer. I haven't lost my spouse or a child. Who am I to complain.

I have been reading a wonderful book by Jerusha Clark; Every Thought Captive.

The book is about "battling toxic beliefs". What a concept, eh? I had never thought that I, (oh so high and mighty like) little 'ole me, would have such a thing as toxic beliefs or thoughts. Well I was enlightened. In her book, Jerusha opens the door to 10 toxic belief's we woman suffer with; Self image, worry and feeling overwhelmed, to name a few. The feelings of overwhelm, are the worst for me. Just doing simple thing is very difficult for me on my bad days. Switching my perspective and being able to see my pity party feelings as toxic and depressing to my system, has been a great help.

I am cleaning out the rooms of my inner house. Bringing in the Lilac Scented cleaner, I am scrubbing down the walls. Removing all of the grimy finger prints of doubt. Sweeping out all of the wrong images of myself, I have stored for far too long. I am dusting off the humor I have kept locked away. I am washing the windows of their years of water spots, nose prints, and fly poop, so that I might see more clearly. Every day I move closer to that bright and sunny spot.

Aren't Band-aid's wonderful. They offer comfort when placed on the scrapes of little children, blood or no. They come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Normally, they are always there when you need them. They keep bad germs from getting into our weak and broken selves. They keep the good stuff from seeping out.

There are days I dream of a giant colorful Band-aid that would hide all my hurts. One I could slap on for those days when 'stuff' is just more than I can bear. A nice big padded one to protect me from the branches that keep slapping me in the face.

This silly little rainbow Band-aid reminded me that God promised the sun will shine again. HE is like that little Band-aid; wrapped around me, keeping the good stuff safe and keeping the bad germs out, protecting me from the branches in my path.

I shuffle through my daily struggles, dreaming of perfect pictures, rainbow Band-aids and little spots of sunshine.

Magic Monday

I wish........ Monday's would magically turn into Friday's.

I wish........ Monday's were filled with Saturday's fun.

I wish........ Monday's could be Sunday's all over again.

Let's get real people......

Over the weekend, I read the most recent newsletter from one of my favourite scrapbooking celebrities, Ali Edwards. The whole theme of her letter was "Get Real". She encourages the reader to "live with intention", "shed excess" and the two that really jumped out at me: "move forward" and "fear less". (read: my girlfriends know, that I have lots of GREAT intentions and BIG plans but all to often, I let fear stop me in my tracks.) So, I accept Ali's challenge. I am going to "get real".

Over the course of the last few months I have been working hard on "shedding excess" in my life. Just this past Friday, I cleaned out my full to the brim with non-crafty things, craft room. I shed a total of 2 fifty five gallon garbage bags of YES, garbage as well as 4 large trash bags of Goodwill and at least one mouse (remember my letter to the mouse?) nest. I feel about 150lbs lighter AND I have a craft room again.

On Saturday I was slated to babysit a friends kids while my darling Inspector General and said kids father, went out to cut fire wood. This caused me a lot of frustration. I would be babysitting at the said kids house, all day! So "living with intention" I checked my attitude and packed a whole load (literally) of projects to work on. Granted, I didn't accomplish all I had intended; I did get more done than had I not taken any action at all.

Sunday I "moved forward" with the Spring Cleaning. I, with the Inspector's help, moved all the living room furniture and vacuumed all of the junk and dirt out of the corners. This was a moving experience (ha, nice pun) for me. We just moved (back) in last September. I could not believe the amount of crayons, Lego's, hair balls and lost left socks we dug out from under the couch and chairs. At some point in the coming week I will finish things up by: dusting the ceiling fan, de-cobwebbing, putting up some cafe' curtains. Who knows maybe I will re-arrange the furniture.

Today I choose to be "fear less". Today I will start to write my story. (read: see Ali's blog for more on this)

Today I am going to sew something, anything.


What will you do today in your journey to "get real".

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I have been so busy doing nothing lately. It seems that I find many things to waste my precious time on: reading magazines, searching on the web, reading books and staring at the mounting pile of laundry. I seem to be frozen in space. Neither up nor down just floating in the atmosphere. Head in the clouds~you say? I don't know for sure. Possibly it is a limbo of sorts.

It is too cold to plant. Too cold to exercise. Too cold to picnic. Too much sun, not enough sun. Too tired. Too much pain. Not enough coffee. Not enough time. Never enough money. Too much mess. I don't have the right tools. I can't find the tools I have. Too many distractions, no motivation. Not enough determination. Too scared......

How much is my time worth? Twenty dollars and hour? A hundred? What is this that paralyses me? Self worth or fear of imperfection. Both I guess.

I assume that if I do nothing, then there will be nothing to judge. I fear JUDGEMENT. I make excuses accordingly. I fear IMPERFECTION. I do nothing to stretch my creativity. I aspire to much, but accomplishment is smothered.

Baby Step for today: Take ONE step. That's all, just one step. I don't have to fear what the next step will bring. Or if it will be the perfect step. Just take that one forward motion and make it mine.

Acknowledgement is a good place to start.

Always,
me

Chicken flies the coop!

Edited to add: When I started my blog I called it Milk-house Musings.


This little chick has flown the coop. I am sorry to say that I no longer own a milk house. What is a farm chick to do with out her milk house? I do have a greenhouse now. Although, Greenhouse Musings just doesn't have the same ring. Hmmm, what is a farm chick to do??

I could hardly believe it when I opened my blogger account, it has been nearly a year since I was here. What have I been up to? Moving mostly. Moving my mother, moving myself, moving my plants (much to my husbands dismay), moving my animals and I am still moving my furniture around in the hopes of finding the perfect arrangement. My family thought that we had made our last move. But 'lo, God had other plans for us. Now I am back, right where I started three and a half years ago. There is a constant sense of deja vu being back in the place you just moved from a year ago. I am not used to this.

Shortly after moving, I lost half of my flock of chickens. I mean lost, literally. I have no idea what happened to those girls. They just disappeared. I guess they flew the coop too! In an effort to boost my egg supply for the coming year I have just purchased 15 babies. On Easter though two of them had heart attacks and died. So I am reduced again. I am determined to not loose any more chickens.


What is a farm chick to do?



Blog more. Muse often. Keep better track of chickens.