{What is all the calamity about?}

{Farm Life} ....... {Art} ...... {Learning} ...... {Motherhood} ......{The Story of Us}

Week in the Life: Tuesday

Ah, Tuesday.

THIS! was the first thing I saw this a.m. The dog hair!! arrrrgh! All night long the beloved pooch paced the hall outside my room, scratching and getting into the bathroom garbage...NASTY dude. I will spare you the photo evidence of that little episode.

Today my youngest daughter is sick with what we are calling the tuberculoid chest funk. When she coughs it sounds like a death rattle, it is disturbing. She (and her devoted sibling) spent the day here in front of the T.V. napping/coughing/snoozing/watching/whimpering.

 The flop house. Where school books lay abandoned in favor of Ben Ten.

Tea with a special message for the sick one.  And coffee for me.

The lunch dilemma. It happens every day.  Has to be my least favorite meal of the day.
Thus we had Oatmeal cookies and milk for a starter then we split up some leftover Chinese from our most beloved Chinese Restaurant.

Ironically, Ali and I had the same idea today: we both took shots of our outside life. With a sick kid (and very supportive sibling) sacked out in front of the T.V. all day, I wandered out after lunch and between rain showers to see what I could see. Mostly I saw rot, bugs and rot, moldy rot, sludgy rot and slugs and rain; such is life in the Pacific Northwest.

 My husband gifted me this tree on our 20th Anniversary this year past summer. I am so excited to have lemons on the lemon tree. I sing to this little lemon tree when I'm outside, I love it so much.Grow lemons, grow!

The darkness of these stormy days...I am already over it. I love fall but I am feeling so blah this year.

SO grateful for our wood-stove that keeps us cozy and warm. I am thankful for my hard working husband and kids who procure our winter's worth of wood.

Thankful for this dishwasher, a total score at the local Goodwill and for the mad mechanical skillz of my husband who made it work. I am thankful too for an end to such a long season of hand washing.

My youngest boy-child is 10 and lives by the boy code that showers kill your super powers. His clothes pile on the floor of the bathroom makes me smile.

Stove popped corn is our current favorite snack. We each doctor it up differently. Daddy and Fidget like it best German style (sugar and salt), the boy likes his with Taco Seasoning and Fern and I like it Alfredo style (garlic, butter, parm+ salt and pepper).

Fern doing her school after returning home from work. Such a good girl!

Hubby taking a minute to plan lessons and check up on Facebook land.

I made breakfast for dinner and was heralded as the Coolest/Bestest/Most divine mom on the planet. It was food magic, as my cooking has come to be called.

My man sacked out with a full belly and his favorite book.

A week in the life of Katie and clan

For the last six years I have participated in Ali Edwards' "Week in the Life" photo documenting project. For six years I have taken one week out of the year to focus on the Story of Us.  In six years I have learned some interesting things about myself and my family as I looked closely at our life through this little camera lens.

I love and hate this project. On one hand, focusing on the "daily" pieces of our life is challenging. So much of our daily bits are just plain ugly: the dirty dishes piled, the school clutter, the endless laundry and this year especially the copious amounts of shed dog hair. Looking back at this glimpse of our days I see how  our lives haven't really changed much. We shop at the same places, we eat basically the same foods, there are still "hot spots" of clutter and sadly the furniture and clothes are still the same; these things make me feel so ordinary and unchanging.

The flip side to this story is my love of seeing how the kids have grown, how among all the unchanging bits of life they are changing into grown up people right before my eyes.  This is also very bittersweet. This year my oldest is off at college and the next oldest works away from home 2-3 days per week. This dynamic change is both great and achingly difficult as we (myself and the two youngest) navigate a new norm.

Monday was one of those difficult days. I took 4 photos of our day. I took two photos of one day's worth of dog hair and my frustration at the dog mounted.

The children bickered non. stop. and were sent to rest and rethink in their rooms several times. One of the many arguments between the youngest two centered around these zucchini pun'kins and the lighting/handling/displaying thereof. Sometimes the silliness of the arguments causes me to wonder.

 My hubby and I went to town for date night and I immediately regretted leaving the camera home as the sky was an amazing display of color and clouds. Hubby and I broke out and tried a new burrito place that serves ...TORTA'S! We reminisced about our Mexico trip (and the amazing Torta's eaten in Mexico) from earlier in the year and promised to bring the kids for a special Torta treat.

After Torta's, my hubby and I stooped in for a quick visit with our college boy. There were lots of hugs and talk of grades and job searches and college life in general.  He loves his school, he thinks college is the best. thing. ever. We parents couldn't be more pleased at his love of college, but we miss him terribly.

This place

I love this space, it brings me joy and peace. Being present here keeps me grounded and sane. When I am too busy to visit here, I ache to come plant words on these pages. 

I've been thinking about this space as of late; pondering what this space once was and what it has now become. I am questioning where the future will take this space.

I wonder if somehow this space could be useful. 

I keep thinking this blog could be more, could be something different, could possibly...

Thinking of where all these pondering's will lead.

Can O' Worms: Take II

(image shamelessly "borrowed" from my beautiful friend Kara)

SO much spinning around in my brain....My head is swimming with all sorts of negative self-talk. I'm trying to sort. Parse. And think well before I blurt. Being real can be painful. Sharing real feelings is tough business. Digging around in your own garbage is a for real Dirty Job. I'm trying hard to stay brave. 

The intent of my previous post was to document learning; to trot out some of those things that make me twitch (and baby, the gaming makes me twitchy) and make me who I am. My sole intent was to express my own thoughts and  my own opinions. My writing was not done to cause pain or start a fight. I think I was unable to convey that message clearly. If I said something that stung you a bit or otherwise made you uncomfortable I would challenge you to do as I did-open up that can o'worms to see what's inside. Dig around and see what's behind those feelings. And if you don't give a hoot about any of this...just stop reading now.

I was frankly amazed at the different things people took away from my post. Most notably was my husband's reaction. He said, " I can't believe you know that in those games you have to defeat your allies! That's so cool that you know that!"  I was worried he might be upset as the gaming issue is a hot one at our house. He totally digs it and I totally hate it; this is why I wanted dig deeper. I think the major heart issue for me is this: I had/have this idea of what "should" be happening within my household and beyond as well. I mean seriously, can't we all just get up off our backsides and DO something? Interact with people, go somewhere-see something new, explore, check something off that never ending to-do list. ...

Let me say, I love-love-love my gaming/techy people. On very rare occasion I have enjoyed watching others get totally carried away gaming or geeking out on something techy. It does my heart good to see a nearly blind friend fly jets-something he is very passionate about-something that will never happen in real life. It's quite entertaining watching my youngest get totally into being a Guitar Hero. He really ROCKS. (I would be over the moon with joy if he learned to play guitar for real.) I once enjoyed rocking out on Band Hero myself, when everyone present was included. I am uncomfortable when left out-it's not fun to sit on the sidelines while everyone else is having fun. I think this is why I hate watching others play video games (and watching sports for that matter). I like/want/need to participate in life with others.  I know there are some people who can't physically do this but there's a difference between those that can't and those who choose not to.

I truly understand the need to "check out" from life now and again. With Fibro, I am at times, crippled by pain; "checking out" is therapy for me. However, I do not believe it is a healthy practice to spend entire days with your face glued to a screen (and yes, I've done this). I think balance is key. I believe that gaming/technology (in all fairness,this argument can be made using most modes of "checking out"; books, food, Sudoku...whatever) of itself is truly not the problem; people are the problem. I believe it's a persons lack of self control, motivation, poor choices-and in some cases what they have been taught-that make gaming/technology etc. a bad thing. What I see as problematic (in my own life as well as those around me) is that humans fall so easily into habitual behaviour and what starts as a simple "check out" quickly becomes disengagement from real life and all too often, addiction. Escape is comfortable, reality is hard. Technology is a seductive beast and we, easy prey. It feels good to check out, so you reward yourself. Before you can say boo, the devise rules you; technology (fill in the blank) becomes your friend, your people...You can't leave the devise at home; you feel lost without it... You load up TF2 as soon as you walk through the door... You have to check Facebook in the middle of dinner... You have to add just one more word to your super triple word score thing-a-ma-who-ha...You have to pin just. one. more. Pin... You take the devise to bed with you at night...you are consumed by habitually checking out. Before you know it polite rules of decorum fall away and you are gaming/checking/texting wherever you go; at work/school, in the grocery store, in the bathroom, heck-everywhere because technology-your new BFF- is so conveniently portable.

I think that for some folks, making connections with people is becoming too hard. Whether because of money, separation or a lack of willingness, it becomes too difficult and at times impossible to reach out. Technology makes it easy to be lazy. It's so easy to shoot off a text or email/Facebook message. (Case in point: Text language=pure laziness.) But technology also makes possible, connections that would otherwise never have happened. Technology is not all bad, all the time. It is my reaction to technology that is.

I feel rejected and unloved and really, aren't I more important than updates on Downton Abbey Season 4? I mean aren't we "hanging out" together? There must be something wrong with me because you don't want to spend time with me: a real live person... then I think you should be ashamed of  your behavior but now I feel guilty about that .....and badness ensues. I suffer anger when I need help from someone and they can't be bothered because they are busy taking over the world/killing something/gaining a level and...they didn't hear me ask for help in the first place. I get indignant because, did you seriously just take that phone call whilst on the toilet? And can't' we please hush the Spotify playlist for just. one. minute?

Again, IF something I have said here has pricked your heart or caused your blood to boil please, take a look at the heart issue; what has made you feel/respond this way. If you find yourself justifying your behavior, ask yourself  "Why"? Be brave. Let your conscience guide you; take a hard look at the WHY behind those feelings. You might end up learning something about yourself.
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