{What is all the calamity about?}

{Farm Life} ....... {Art} ...... {Learning} ...... {Motherhood} ......{The Story of Us}


My latest calamity involves a giant spider, baking soda and vinegar, and mystery shoes.

Last night whilst helping Fidget make her bed I was bitten by this monster of a spider. It felt as though I had been stabbed with a needle in the hand. This biting sent me into full on panic attack mode. My heart started palpitating, my mouth went dry, I started to sweat, my vision blurred, basically I suffered death and death like symptoms.

The mother in me decided that now would not be the best time to give in to the death spider so I dug around in the blankets, to see if I could find the culprit. This massive spider is what I found.

My hand started to swell and the pain started traveling up my arm. Then my hand went numb. At this point I called Miriam. No answer. Called hubby. No freaking answer. Called doctor's office, they would have to call me back.

Ack! I was going to die and no one would know! I had the sense to plaster my hand with baking soda and just to be extra disgusting, vinegar. My rationale was that these things would draw out the poison now taking the fast track toward my brain and heart.

So I managed to get Miriam to answer her phone and whined about my dying. She sympathized. Then the doc called back.

According to the nurse on call, I was only freaking out. I would in fact not die, but just to make sure I was to come to the office to have my head hand checked out. This involved the locating non-phone answering husband and shoes for 4 kids and myself.

Enter mystery shoes.

These babies were lurking in the bottom of my closet. I had assumpted that they belonged to my shoe loving husband and had given him a hard time for owning two pairs of white court shoes, that he never wore. In fact these puppies are not his size and he had assumpted they belonged to moi. Being to large for even my size 9 tootsies, they must belong to the Headstrong one. But no, these would be too small for a growing boy of 12. No one in our house has any idea where these shoes came from. This is the story of my life.

Back to the dying:

Thank the heavens above for the mystery shoes, without which I would have gone to the doctors office unshod, as I could not find two shoes that matched. (I have two little girls who play dress up with my shoes and NEVER put them back)

I managed to make contact with hubby, filled him in on the death and death like symptoms and told him to beat feet homeward.

Now a trip to the doctor's office for us, involves a 60 mile trek, one way. We just happened to be out of fuel. In both vehicles. And we are broker than broke. We used our last pennies at the pump to get just enough fuel to skate our way to town.

After waiting for what felt like hours, I was told by the smartest doctor on the planet (who had to Google 'spider identification') to say that I will in fact live and if I was lucky, my hand would not rot and fall off. You know what saved my life?

The baking soda and vinegar.


  1. watch the bite site carefully. I had a spider bite and it got a nasty weird infection they had to culture to identify the right antibiotic for. it was fun and now I have a scar on my leg...But of course the vinegar prolly killed anything that would get infected right???

  2. What the heck kind of spider is it? It is an ugly little monster. Scary that she could have had a sleep over with the beast...

  3. Oh my LORD I would have freaked out bigger than you did.
    I watched some show on National Geographic channel not too long ago about a woman that got bit by a black widow that was hiding in a pair of shoes she kept outdoors.
    Needless to say, I do a toe check in all my outdoor shoes now.
    And I'm also in therapy over watching that.

  4. OH MY!!!! I am not sure how you are blessed with soooo much calamity, but it seems to follow you. Has someone put a curse on you lady? Against all "organic" wisdom we have found a wonderful spray that keeps all the creepy stuff outside where it belongs. It was a mandate after I found two ginourmous wolf spiders hanging outside our back porch when we moved in. I wouldn't even go outside until I was sure they were DEAD! Hope you heal fast! Thank goodness for quick thinking.

  5. caI'm with startastical. Now is not the time for organic. BUG B*MB. (I put the asterisk in special for Dick Daring and Agent K).

    Also, I'm so glad Fidget didn't go to sleep with that ugly monster in the bed.

  6. Life with spiders is dreamy. BAD dreams that is!! After I found a wolf spider in my bed one night (they love our house... don't know why) I now fluff all my bedding and pillows before I get in every night. Kinda bothers my husband when he's already sleeping and the room is cold... hahah! But I hear ya! And yes, keep an eye on that bite. Boy B still has a black spot on his leg where he was bitten and the tissues died. Uck! Glad you lived to tell about it.

  7. Scary stuff. I could tell you the story of my son's spider bite, or another spider-bite story of a friend of ours, but why mess with the psyche. Use all your inner powers to heal rather than feed paranoia. Just don't minimize any signs of infection.

    Great thinking with the baking soda and vinegar. I guess it isn't just for shampoo-ing. I wonder if it would work on scorpion stings or rattlesnake bites?

  8. That is one ugly spider! More like a monster, I do say. Good thinking about the baking soda and vinegar. I would have passed out & been unable to apply any type of paste to save my life.

  9. NO! no no no. ugh. please, no.

    i am very scared of spiders. very.

    I had a spider encounter. I'll go find it on my blog and come back with the link. One good scary story deserves another, yes?

  10. I'll just post it here. Is that ok?

    "Do you know how I used to have a spider phobia? In my 20s. I got completely over it. It had to do with claustrophobia and abuse. Truly I saw it clearly and got over it. Completely. I could kill or save a spider at will. I could sleep in the same room with them. No prob. I am raising my children to believe that I love spiders and they should as well.

    Then I moved into my mothers basement this spring. (That should be horrifying enough. cue the JAWS music) I KNOW the spiders live there. I expected to see those big wolfies every now and then. We all slept in one room down there. With beds in a row. And then the kids began to sleep restlessly. And awake with bites. Poo poo I said.

    Then one night a big wolfie started to get all up in my hair. I sat up in the dark and turned on a light. There it sat on the wall over my head. Joe killed it. I thought about crying but decided not to. I GOT OVER IT. We never told the kids and we went on with our lives. Then it happened again. Repeat. Strange I thought. We went on as if nothing had happened.

    Then one night I woke in the pitch black darkness with one in my hair. Again. Before when one was in my hair, it was like knocking a mouse away. Finding something soft and hefty and warm that is already trying to retreat as you are discovering it. But this big fella was all up in my hair. And doing a strange sharp dance on his toes. Even now I can feel it. As Joe was killing the shit out of it, I was in the bathroom peeing and wonderingly running my hands through my hair. That is when I found all the webbing. Like maybe I'd been having sex with Spider Man. I pulled hand fulls of webbing out of my hair. Then I began to weep openly.

    I never again slept in that house. I uprooted my children, again, and moved them to my fathers house. I walked around for a day or two saying, "I was afraid of spiders. But I got over it. Why did that weird thing happen. It was like being visited by a Native American messenger, but what is the message?"

    Months later I met a woman. I am just getting to know her. She has some witch about her. One day she said, "Did you know spiders are the Native American symbol of writing?" I gasped and she said, "Are spiders bothering you, they are trying to tell you to write." Then I said "fuck you bitch". I have heard you talk about the excruciation of writing. In fact, I have observed you avoiding writing when ever possible. Also, I will never write."

  11. Oh, strong language. Let me explain, this is an excerpt from a letter I wrote a friend. She happens to be a professional writer and never fails to mention that it is the most painful work available. So, that's my archetypal spider story.


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