Calamity

My latest calamity involves a giant spider, baking soda and vinegar, and mystery shoes.

Last night whilst helping Fidget make her bed I was bitten by this monster of a spider. It felt as though I had been stabbed with a needle in the hand. This biting sent me into full on panic attack mode. My heart started palpitating, my mouth went dry, I started to sweat, my vision blurred, basically I suffered death and death like symptoms.

The mother in me decided that now would not be the best time to give in to the death spider so I dug around in the blankets, to see if I could find the culprit. This massive spider is what I found.

My hand started to swell and the pain started traveling up my arm. Then my hand went numb. At this point I called Miriam. No answer. Called hubby. No freaking answer. Called doctor's office, they would have to call me back.

Ack! I was going to die and no one would know! I had the sense to plaster my hand with baking soda and just to be extra disgusting, vinegar. My rationale was that these things would draw out the poison now taking the fast track toward my brain and heart.

So I managed to get Miriam to answer her phone and whined about my dying. She sympathized. Then the doc called back.

According to the nurse on call, I was only freaking out. I would in fact not die, but just to make sure I was to come to the office to have my head hand checked out. This involved the locating non-phone answering husband and shoes for 4 kids and myself.

Enter mystery shoes.



These babies were lurking in the bottom of my closet. I had assumpted that they belonged to my shoe loving husband and had given him a hard time for owning two pairs of white court shoes, that he never wore. In fact these puppies are not his size and he had assumpted they belonged to moi. Being to large for even my size 9 tootsies, they must belong to the Headstrong one. But no, these would be too small for a growing boy of 12. No one in our house has any idea where these shoes came from. This is the story of my life.

Back to the dying:

Thank the heavens above for the mystery shoes, without which I would have gone to the doctors office unshod, as I could not find two shoes that matched. (I have two little girls who play dress up with my shoes and NEVER put them back)

I managed to make contact with hubby, filled him in on the death and death like symptoms and told him to beat feet homeward.

Now a trip to the doctor's office for us, involves a 60 mile trek, one way. We just happened to be out of fuel. In both vehicles. And we are broker than broke. We used our last pennies at the pump to get just enough fuel to skate our way to town.

After waiting for what felt like hours, I was told by the smartest doctor on the planet (who had to Google 'spider identification') to say that I will in fact live and if I was lucky, my hand would not rot and fall off. You know what saved my life?

The baking soda and vinegar.